I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
