You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
