Swine flu. Run for my life!
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
