Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
