Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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