K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
