mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
