Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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