we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
