im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
