Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
