I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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