Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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