even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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