but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
That was an excessively violent trivia night
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
