Your dad touched me again.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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