I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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