508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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