yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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