Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
