so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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