Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
