Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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