yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
