lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
