And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
