Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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