you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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