Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
