We should be called the Road Head Warriors
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
