and you said cock pushups were impossible
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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