the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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