I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
