I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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