were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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