Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
