i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
