I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
50% drunk capacity currently
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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