so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
