that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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