you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
