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My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
