Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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