I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
