I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
