I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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