I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
