i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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