I looked at my own cervix.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
