This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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